Instilling Good Self-Esteem in Children

Self-esteem for children, is how they feel about themselves, the good and the bad. This is not one of the things that they gain on their own as they grow, it must be taught. Feelings are best shown when they talk about themselves, their things, toys and pets, friends and families. The largest influence on children is usually the parents and close family. These people are who teach and mold these little people into the adults you see walking around today.

When parents constantly 'put-down' their child, calling the child bad or stupid; whether on purpose, while mad or just by accident; this contributes to bad self-esteem that can continue to adulthood.
Sometimes parents are dominating in all areas, even while playing games with children so their is never any fair competition, the child always is left to feel inferior to the parent.
Telling children to always 'do their best' is fantastic, but make sure they also know that your love and acceptance is not tied to their being the best or perfect.

I have seen many instances where parents are influential with instilling confidence in their children. I would say the number one important factor is acceptance. When you show a child or even an adult that he/she is accepted exactly for whomever they are regardless of mistakes, it allows them to feel secure. Acceptance helps a child realize that mistakes will happen, they will fail and they will still be okay.
Another positive reinforcement technique is to let children have choices and make them as appropriate for their age level. For example, chores might be part of life in your household, but let them choose between emptying the dishwasher and vacuuming carpets. Giving them the tools to think on their own and decide what they want to do will serve two purposes. Children always perform better when doing what they want to and feel better about it and themselves.
Making it clear to children that they are accepted and loved for themselves, not for their performance and allowing them to make decisions over parts of their life teach them to love themselves and take pride in their failures and successes.

When you do the hard work of acceptance daily at home as a parent, you can strengthen your child's self-esteem and prepare him/her for the harsh reality of society. If you do not have a firm handle on your child's esteem you are in for a battle. Society is full of a style of negative thrashings upon children many are not ready for. Women especially are rated for hair color, size, intelligence, status and more. Unfair criticism is part of everyday life in the world outside the home. If you and your children are not steadfast in your beliefs and have instilled in each other self-esteem and acceptance, the battle will be long and hard, maybe even tragic.

Parents do a terrific job protecting their children physically from harm, but often are unaware of the importance of protecting their belief in themselves. Building a strong foundation withing a child will prevent them from using drugs, being swayed to do crimes and most importantly keep them safe from society-induced depression.

What can you do today? Find out what your child is interested in. Really. Could it be that train set of yours in the basement they keep 'getting into'. Instead of getting upset with them, help them get their own set. Help them develop their hobby or interest. Guide them, but give them room to grow. Whether it be trains, cars, dolls, books, comics, stamps, gardening, etc. it's a chance for bonding, acceptance and instilling value and worth in them. Trust me, they will respect you for it later.